僕は君のため  君は僕のため


2015/11/23 23:50
its probably ok to post if i feel like it once in a while right? ww

im 21 years old now. things are so, so much better. i am awesome and sexy. and like i still have troubles obviously but like??? its ok its gonna be ok. even though things scare me sometimes they are not eating me alive?? like thank god. u_u

idk if anyone ever reads this anymore and truthfully i rly hope they dont but like never ever give up if you're sad, you deserve! to feel better!!! i know thats not what your head is telling you but its true!! that voice is talking utter shit and you deserve better than that. im serious. NO exceptions.


2014/01/29 21:37
wow, it has been quite a while huh.

for one thing my birthday passed again i am now 19 been 19 for half a year almost now. actually that's kind of wow, there's thoughts i thought out when i was 15 archived here, right? and now it's so much later and you can't help but wonder just how much you've grown.

well actually i don't need to wonder cuz it's obvious i've changed since then. i don't even need to read back through my past entries to know, although it'd probably shock me more if i did so. i'm a very different person. more mature maybe. perhaps less compassionate. i think it's okay, though. I mean, growing up is growing up. things are gonna be lost.

I almost thought I was done with blogging and i kind of am it's just i thought of something today and i felt the need to write about it so here goes??

when i try to think of characters one of the first signs that a good character is really starting to form is when the character comes up with a contradiction. actually its funny if you read a book or play a game just how many characters don't have contradictions, but i'm certain i've never met a single person without one. and well i guess kind of flat characters is fine if it's a game that's not really focused on characterization but if it is, you, colonel game-or-book-or-whatever-maker sir, have failed thoroughly. :(

buttt when it comes to real life, the magical wonderland where EVERYONE hAS FLAWS, we just spend our time trying to hide them. i mean, not in that 14 year old emo "she smilz 2 hid her pain" way. i mean in the super adult world way


there was this workshop thingy and they told us to all make linkedin and to keep it updated with our image and how we should carefully build our image and wear clothes that suit our image and talk to people who have similar images and whatnot

and i'm sitting there like "wait wait a second so the big secret to being an adult is giving up your individuality???"

like what how does that even why would you want to employ a 2d character in your office

i dunno tho as a future employee of the art world i know that i can take most of that stuff with a grain of salt, and by a grain i mean a truckload like at that workshop thing they were also like "dress conservatively wear a simple classic outfit with little color" and i'm like "lol"

like can u imagine that;s like the opposite of most art crap. i mean don't come in dressed as a hooker but they want you to look fresh and modern and above all interesting? hello this is the future your creativity is influencing the future don't come in lookin like clone #235693023 ya know?

i dunno i just wanted to say that messing up is human and expecting us not to mess up is a mindset that will only lead to anxiety disorder but actually i don't think i said that at all. u_u

ah well.

another blog?? it's not a competition though!

2013/05/22 23:00
woow i put up a challenge thing and then i neglect it for a while

but anyways, i finally started a romaji lyrics blog, please go check it out:

'romajio' was a typo i made once when writing romaji for an older entry over here, and i really for some reason like how it sounds;;

you can also intepret it as a pun on 'romeo and cinderella' :D like... 'romajio and singderella' 8DDDDDD;;;;

b-but then even with the pun i named it 'romaji soup?' lolide

i used blogspot because i love fc2. yes this makes sense. because. i don't want to have to log out of okortei in order to work on romajio :(

most of it's old romaji right now, whether i transferred it from my notepad files or from this blog |D this also explains the rapid as shiz posting rate, which will now slow (i only wrote out night walker and kitsune no shoujo after creating the blog, although the tokyo real world set was what finally made me create it)

and yeah a lot of those older songs i posted have romaji everywhere now, but pls remember that when i made the romaji that was not so. a-and i want to post it just for old times sakes

i also have my set of tokyo caster romaji but i felt too like attatched to them to post it like 'no my tokyo caster go away'

Oh, but the reason why i'm posting this:

if you wanna help me out, even just once in a while, just drop me a message here or on twitter or smth and i'll figure out how to invite you to the editor's list =w=;; i mean the more editors, the more romaji gets written out and posted so =///=;;

however if you wanna help, you have to use that tag system and credit everything and link to everything and you gotta hand-write or at least hand-check the romaji, so no machine errors >C yes i'm super strict >CC

or at least like. tell me when you post so i can go edit it and add that stuff |D;;

okay yeaaaah byeeee pls check it outttt)/

2013/05/10 14:52
i'm sorry this is pointless but i just wanted to say out of nowhere that i really really like kaito's voice, and i always will. it's weird, everyone's like 'kaito v1 sucks' and well it's so hard to use yeah but goddamn some people just made it sound fantastic and v3 is cool too, straight is kind of sexy and soft and whisper... well they're nice although i also wish that we got a power type append |D and english is... well it's kind of weird but he does sound okay, it's just weird accent. way better than luka though

actually i'd love to know if it would be possible to tune kaito english into a japanese kaito power;; it's a little stronger so??

lol though everyone loves miku dark but i swear to god i love vivid append it's soo wonderful ahhhh. and kagamine... well kagamine powers are most appreciated append actually so yeah. that makes me happy.

baaaack to essay.

new challenge master post

2013/05/08 15:15
The last master post, if you're curious. I did this from 2010 to late 2011.

Some of these questions are the same, but for many of them, my answer has changed, so I want to redo them all. And i'll change my answer if it is the same. 8D;;

Day1 - Your favourite song:
Day2 - Your least favourite song:
Day3 - A song that makes you happy:
Day4 - A song that makes you sad:
Day5 - A song that reminds you of someone:
Day6 - A song that reminds you of somewhere:
Day7 - A song that reminds you of a certain event:
Day8 - A song that you know all of the lyrics to:
Day9 - A song that you can dance to:
Day10 - A song that makes you feel relaxed:
Day11 - A guilty pleasure song:
Day12 - A song you listen to when upset or angry:
Day13 - Your favourite Vocaloid song writer:
Day14 - Your favourite PV / animation:
Day15 - Your favourite Vocaloid and why:
Day16 - Your least favourite Vocaloid and why:
Day17 - Your favourite outfit:
Day18 - Your least favourite outfit:
Day19 - A character or adaption you want to cosplay:
Day20 - Your favourite same sex pairing:
Day21 - Your favourite male/female pairing:
Day22 - Your favourite female Nico Nico Vocaloid cover singer:
Day23 - Your favourite male Nico Nico Vocaloid cover singer:
Day24 - Your favourite Nico Nico Chorus cover:
Day25 - A singer you think should have a Vocaloid:
Day26 - Your favourite song series:
Day27 - A song you hated but grew to love:
Day28 - A song you loved but grew to hate:
Day29 - Favourite duet song:
Day30 - Favourite group song [3 or more singers]:

Some of these are not necesarily song related, so i'll try to always tie it back in. :D


2013/05/08 15:03
why so many entries lately idk

I just like leaving short pointless splats lately it seems

but anyways, I do finish my semester sometime this week. just... pretty much whenever i finish my final projects ahahaa

i want to start a challenge again. 'n'; because i want to blog more often again OTL i found one on tumblr, i'll post it in a few minutes;; but i'll start next time eheeeee ;;;

Right now, i'm listening to yuki no hi... and i kind of remembered a thought i've had before...

people always seem to have like... seasons, hm? idk. actually i think more of a couple having a season, and it's surely more clear cut in fiction;; but like yeah idk people have them too. like a spring person is kind of fresh, you know? and summer person is like loud and boisterous and stuff and fall is kind of serene but like also sort of fleeting and a winter person is a warm, small sort of thing. it's weird because I like spring- late spring into summer, aka now, the most, but i think perhaps a winter person is the best, because it's something like that. hmm.

but you can't really judge what type of person you yourself are, hmm... i wonder where i fit...

... somehow fall seems the most realistic, not fair, i totally dislike fall. but si i i igh.

harry tweeted something like that the other day, like he can only write winter songs or something ehehe

it's funny and true; all of his songs are kind of winter/early spring ish. like... hm, like tokyo caster perhaps is very late fall, and yuki no hi i actually think is first snowfall even though it was released in february, and hmm mikadzuki that is like the first day of winter hmm and chikyuu no akichi, i think that is a song for the new year's, it's remembering and moving on and just everything and sleipnir is perhaps trying to escape it in the middle of winter heaven is sort of that suffocating end of winter and gekkou is like that first warm day in winter i think, sort of echoing mikadzuki i think of those songs together a little, and then taiyou no soujuushi is like the first day of spring... and i'm gonna stop there cuz i'm a little lazy also i don't know his earlier songs as well;; although zipper zipper is probably right before taiyou

oh oops i forgot earth day... well actually... i find earth day very late spring. it's got the joy in the air and everything's bright and smells like spring and flowers go everywhere in late spring and the color of the new leaves, how bright a green it is, and it just explodes. I love may.

I really make not so much sense today, it seems. My grammar is absolutely terrible. What a weird cat I am. But whatever.

one of my final projects was making like a stripey thing mixing colors and using color theory in order to show how one season swishes into another, actually we were supposed to make two of them, that's probably why i am thinking of this but besides that i did transitions from winter to spring and summer to fall... well, in particular, the first one i did from february to may, and second was july to october... but anyways like the first one started off kind of light, then went down into chromatic neutrals for marchapril and in the end had just like a build up to brighter colors and then the may part was just like full saturation. the second started off slightly pale, but then went to full bright, and kind of abruptly faded off into dark around the late august part. I love august because it's my dear birth month, but i think if that were not the case i would not like the end of august very much, it is stressful because fall is there and it feels heavy and uuughhh fall but yeah. My mother yells at me for hating fall but i cannot help it, she says since we live in the northeast we should be very thankful for fall because it is beautiful, but well yeah it is pretty but i don't know it's just so scary because very soon everything is bare and it's ugly and i can't stand it.

well for now this is spring, right? spring spring spring. hehe. it's bright and warm and flowery.

it might be a kind of weird thought, but i was thinking to myself that when i die, i hope i die in springtime. i don't know, i don't want to leave this world with the outside so dark like in late summer through winter. hm. spring is much better.

today is humid in a way that summer is humid i think. rain is gross but it's kind of funny.

i got to help out the preschool class i was observing today, they needed an extra person to watch a group and i was there so they recruited me. i helped some of the kids i watched all semester play tennis. they're adorable. and they liked me. they walked over me a little bit. but they're still total sweethearts. that really made my day a lot nicer, i wanted to hug them and tell them i loved them but that uh that's not really possible. it did make me want to see if i can work there next semester. well. i mean i do have the library but. hmm. oh but i get to watch kids this summer sort of so that's cool beans. but they're older since i'm not helping out a camp class. ehehe.

well i have one more essay to write, i should stop writing nonsense and get to work;;


! !!

2013/05/03 09:14
100th entry woooooooo

i'm almost done my freshman year of college woooooooooo

2013/05/03 08:17
i was not aware that i was such a dense person, but i guess i am one. wow.

an incredibly stupid person too

just. wow.

i mean, actually, i thought ''I am not dense'', that's the weird part, i thought that i was too straightforward or some shit but in reality i was just really really dense


rank u rank u

2013/04/29 02:17
I've totally been stalking the vocarankings lately

found some good ps hmm

in particular, i found this one guy, shr, who has most of his songs with 10000+ views and i swear to god i've never heard of him before

damn he does some really catchy stuff with a piano though. it's. a little old sounding? but kind of more... american-style old. or even some like eastern european-old. idk. but then it's also slightly midi-sounding... but in a good way? lol idk it's really delicious though =Q=

and there are many more ps out there like that ahur that have many popular songs but i've never heard of them |D

somehow that pisses me off |D

idk, it feels like all of them just write music from their hearts, especially less-known Ps. there's just such a purity in it. u_u


2013/04/25 22:31
i spent like an hour and a half writing out pink stick luv romaji the other day

because dear lord there's just so much lyrics in that song and also i was kind of distracted but yeah

and then i forget to save the notepad file


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