2011/03/06 23:03I'll get back to the song challenge next time.
uhm. what's been up?
god... things. busyness and all. idk.
... depressing feelings got the best of me for a few months.
ok I said it. not that it wasn't obvious cuz I'm a stupid stupid transparent cat.
but I've never... publicized it before. it's goddamn official.
I'm a little better now. Watching life go by, and... I don't know... it just.... occurred to me, even though it's obvious... life is truly something special, isn't it? I mean... the odds of me being who I am, and where I am... and even the odds of life itself... Being able to laugh and love... it's really special.
truth is, I'm scared of death, and I think I always will be. I want something like reincarnation to be the case, I think. Being able to touch this earth again and again... people say things like 'I hate people' and I say things like 'I hate people', but I don't ever mean it. I love people. They're such incredible miracles.
even if life hurts sometimes, we gotta just keep living, because we do. in the end, there's no answer. gotta keep giving love. gotta keep smiling. it's just how things roll. and that's ok... no, better than ok.
... who am I trying to convince, right now?
..... nah, it's not convincing.... I always knew I would never do anything drastic... kill myself. Even when I had no better reason than 'I'm too scared'. I could just be saying that but I don't think I am. :/
I think... no.
It's just... Here's a snapshot of my brain right now. Sorry it's frazzled, and it's not the lighthearted shit I try to pump out most of the time. My head hurts, and I think I'm feverish. but yeah. sorry I'm so boring and unoriginal in general an emotional mess. \O/ I guess I'll just watch life some more, and try harder tomorrow.